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  “I’m sorry,” she said. “A, I shouldn’t have gone through your mail, and b, you should be able to talk to me about anything that’s going on in your life without fear of judgment. I love you, Tanner.”

  “I love you too, Syd.” Tanner’s voice was quiet. “And I’m not mad at you for going through my mail. If I’d really wanted to keep it a secret, I wouldn’t have had them send the letter here. I want to share this news with you, and it’s been killing me not to.”

  Syd forced a smile and said, “Tell me now. Tell me everything.”

  “You remember I told you about the agent that Professor Radley had speak to the class last spring, right before the end of the semester? Well, it turns out she was here specifically to meet me. They need more lawyers in the ranks, and they did a preliminary search nationwide of 2Ls—grades, special skills, that kind of thing. They picked me, Syd. Me.”

  Syd slid a hand down Tanner’s arm. “That doesn’t surprise me at all, babe. Lots of people pick you, present company included. You’re brilliant and talented. You’re going to be an amazing lawyer.” She placed a special emphasis on the word “lawyer.”

  “I hear you. You think working for the FBI as an agent isn’t practicing real law.”

  “Well, it’s not, but that’s not really the point.” Syd took a deep breath to gather her thoughts. She was wading into dangerous waters here. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with becoming an FBI agent, but not for you.” She ticked off her points. “It could be dangerous. Your talents will be wasted, not to mention the fact they could send you anywhere, and then what am I supposed to do?”

  “I don’t know, Syd. What would happen if I got a job offer from a firm with offices in New York or LA? Suppose it was an amazing offer, a huge salary with bonuses and lots of fringe benefits? Would we be having this same conversation in reverse or would it be a foregone conclusion that we’d be going where the money is?”

  “Wow, you really think I’m that shallow?”

  Tanner hung her head. “No, no. I know it’s about security to you, but security isn’t everything. Do you really want me to work at a job that might suck the life out of me rather than do something that makes me happy?”

  “I’m not asking you to work for a big firm for the rest of your life. You’re oversimplifying this as usual.”

  “Maybe I’m using my incredible legal talent to distill the facts down to what’s important and what isn’t.”

  “Quit acting like security isn’t important,” Syd said, no longer trying to hide the exasperation she felt. “You of all people should know how much it means to me to be secure.” Syd rushed on, wishing she hadn’t bared her vulnerability so boldly. “And what about kids? You think I’m going to have children with someone who spends her days chasing bad guys and might not come home at night? Dammit, Tanner, we had plans.”

  Tanner pulled her into her arms and held her close against her beating chest. Syd felt her eyes water and she tried to will back the tears, but they fell despite her efforts, leaving traces of moisture on Tanner’s shirt. She rarely cried. It was a weakness she wouldn’t indulge because she’d learned a long time ago tears didn’t accomplish anything but lay open her vulnerabilities. Tanner leaned back and wiped the tears from her face. “Don’t cry, Syd. We’ll figure this out.”

  “Will we?” Sydney sobbed the words.

  “Of course we will. It’s you and me, babe, for the rest of our lives.” Tanner cracked a smile. “Hell, I haven’t even seen the letter. All of this could be for nothing.”

  Sydney reached over to where she’d set the letter on the coffee table and handed it to Tanner. She’d always said you need to know all the facts, good and bad, before you could formulate a strategy. Once that letter was open and she knew for sure what she was facing, she could take care of it. One way or another, she’d find a way to make it work because a future without Tanner was inconceivable.

  Chapter Six

  Peyton slid into the seat next to Sydney and ordered a beer. “You ready for another?” she asked, pointing at Sydney’s glass.

  Sydney was tempted to indulge. Anything to stem the flow of memories bubbling up, catching her unawares, but she had enough distractions complicating her focus. “I’m good.”

  “Tanner should be here any minute. Traffic is a bitch today.”

  “I thought we were here to talk about work, but now it looks like you’re arranging some kind of clever kumbaya.”

  Peyton raised her hands. “Who, me?” She grinned. “Seriously, though, if you two can figure out a way to put the past behind you, that would be great, but I really asked you here because I have a plan.”

  “Really? Dish.”

  “As soon as our partner in crime shows up. She factors majorly into what I have planned.” Peyton lifted her glass. “And here she is.”

  Syd turned slowly and watched as Tanner strode toward them looking sharp and confident in a trim black suit with a pale gray shirt. Sydney pictured Tanner on the witness stand, testifying for the prosecution. The jurors would’ve been captivated by the cool confidence of her demeanor, like she was now. Before Tanner reached them, Syd turned back to Peyton. “On second thought, I’ll take a glass of wine.”

  “Tanner, drink?” Peyton asked.

  “Sure. I’ll have a Blanton, neat.”

  Once they all had drinks, Peyton led them to a small table in the corner of the bar where they could talk in relative privacy. They were barely seated when Peyton tossed a brochure onto the table.

  Sydney picked it up and began perusing the contents, grateful for the prop to distract her from studying every inch of Tanner. “What’s this?”

  “It’s the key to getting into Gellar’s house.” Peyton pointed at the front of the brochure. “Every year, the Junior League holds a holiday tour of homes. All the homes are decorated for the holidays and open to the public, or at least the portion of the public who had the funds to purchase the high-dollar entry fee. The proceeds go to charity, and it’s a big deal to be included on the list. The annual tour is scheduled for this weekend.”

  “Let me guess, Gellar’s house is on the tour?”

  “It isn’t, but it’s about to be. I called an old acquaintance who’s on the planning committee and got her to pull some strings. She’s meeting with Gellar right now to beg him for his help. Something about filling in because of a plumbing emergency at one of the other houses on the tour.”

  “And there’s no real plumbing emergency?” Syd said.

  “I have no direct knowledge either way. The point is, once Gellar’s house is on the tour, we can get in. And by we, I mean Tanner.”

  Tanner took a sip of her bourbon. “I think I missed a step. I heard the words high-dollar entry fee. No way is Gellar going to believe I suddenly took an interest in expensive, well-decorated housing.”

  “I’ve got that part handled,” Peyton said. “Trust me. Syd will be there too. Gellar’s definitely going to want the chance to show off his house to you. It actually is pretty nice for a guy on a government salary, but his wife comes from money, so it’s never raised any questions.”

  “Okay, what’s the plan?” Sydney asked. “We need to make sure there’s no way Tanner gets caught poking around. Gellar’s not stupid enough to leave anything incriminating in plain sight.”

  “True, but he’ll be off guard for the night, glad-handing a bunch of socialites. We’ll wire you both so you can communicate. If Sydney notices Gellar getting suspicious, you can get word to Tanner to stand down. It’s not the perfect situation, but it’s as close as we can get without a warrant.” Peyton drained the last of her beer and stood. “I’ve got to head out. Tanner, I’ll text you the details. Dale and Mary will get you both set up before you go, but you’ll need to show up separately so as not to raise any suspicion.”

  As Peyton walked away from the table, Sydney started looking around the bar wondering how long she should stay before making her own excuse about having to be somewhere.

  “Wa
it here,” Tanner said as she sprang from her seat. “I’ll be right back.”

  Tanner jogged through the bar, caught up with Peyton, and tapped her on the shoulder. Peyton turned and raised her eyebrows in question and Tanner started talking, waving her hands for emphasis, same as she used to do when she and Syd engaged in heated debates while they were in law school. A few minutes later, Tanner was back at her side. “Are you hungry?” Tanner asked, pointing at the menu propped against the salt and pepper shakers.

  It was an ostensibly easy question, but Sydney found it difficult to respond. Peyton’s idea about how to gain entry to Gellar’s house had been a little bit of a bombshell. Basically, she and Tanner would be working this weekend as a team, and she’d be responsible for making sure Tanner didn’t get caught. If things went wrong, Tanner could lose her job and they’d both be in trouble. But hey, sure, let’s grab a bite to eat like it’s nothing.

  She looked at the hopeful look on Tanner’s face. Maybe sharing a meal was the perfect solution to bridge the gap between them. If they were going to work together, they needed to be in tune instead of constantly engaging in the push and pull they’d had going all week. And she was hungry. Hungry for food, but also hungry for information about Tanner and how she’d wound up here in Dallas and whether she loved the life she had more than the one she’d given up. Syd wasn’t sure how she would digest the answers, but it was time to start swallowing some truths, no matter how hard and unappetizing they might be.

  * * *

  Tanner led them out of the bar and asked the hostess for a booth, her mind half on the information about the ghost agent listed on the 302s and half on the reality that she was about to have to be social with her ex.

  She’d given Peyton a quick preview of what she’d found, and maybe she should have included Sydney in the information she and Bianca had discovered at the office. But her guard was still up, and she wanted to keep the information tight until she was certain she could trust that Sydney was on their side. Guilt about excluding Syd had motivated the impromptu dinner invitation, and she was having serious second thoughts about whether that had been a good idea, but now that Sydney had said yes, she was fully committed. Besides, a casual dinner might be the perfect way to clear the air between them—a necessary step if they were going to work together. They settled into the booth and studied the menu.

  “The steaks here are really good,” Tanner said.

  “You know how I love a good steak.”

  “I wasn’t sure if you still did.” She watched the slight blush creep up Sydney’s neck and she tossed her menu down. “I think we should start over.”

  “We haven’t even ordered yet,” Syd replied.

  “You know what I mean. You and me. Us. It’s time to put the past behind us.”

  “Is that so? And how do you propose we do that?”

  “Well, we can’t start completely over. That’s a little impossible, but over like this week over. Like if we’d met again after however many years and not under circumstances where you were accusing me of breaking the law.”

  “Ten years.” Syd fixed her with a stare. “It’s been ten years. How can you not know that?”

  Tanner shifted in her chair. “I do know.” She set her menu down. “I know a lot of things, but what I really want to know is why you fought so hard for a life you’re not even living. Where’s the big firm gig and the family and nice house, and the rest of the trappings? The last place I expected to see you working was a government job.”

  “Things change. I’m not the same person you knew.”

  “Clearly.”

  “Just because your life worked out exactly the way you expected doesn’t mean mine did. Everyone’s not Tanner Cohen, born to be a hero to the downtrodden and a champion of justice. Some of us have to make some mistakes before we find our way.”

  Tanner flinched at the edge in Syd’s voice, but what really struck her was the undercurrent of pain she heard. “Is that how you see me?”

  “It’s kind of hard not to.” Syd’s expression was sad. “You knew exactly what you wanted and you went for it.”

  Not everything, Tanner thought. “So did you.”

  “I was wrong.”

  Tanner shook her head. “Don’t beat yourself up. You went for the brass ring. What everyone thinks is the brass ring, anyway.”

  “That’s for sure.”

  “Do you want to tell me what happened?” The words were out before Tanner had time to think them through. After all this time she shouldn’t care why Sydney’s dream life hadn’t turned out the way she’d thought it would. Why should she? The lure of the perfect life had been the thing that had torn them apart. Finding out it wasn’t so perfect after all wasn’t a big surprise, but if Syd needed to tell her story, needed to make peace with what she’d done to break them up, Tanner was willing to give her the space to do so.

  “I’m fairly certain my story is not unique, and I probably should’ve seen it coming. If I thought it was competitive to get into one of the top tier firms, it was nothing at all like the competition once I arrived. It started on the first day when we were told how many hours we’d need to bonus aka enter the partnership track. There was barely time to eat lunch, let alone go to the bathroom, and there was absolutely no time for a social life. All that crap during the summer months—the happy hours, the courtside tickets to the games, and the front row seats at the theater—over. Completely over. Those bennies were reserved for firm clients, people we’d barely ever get to see.”

  “Are you really bitching because you had to do a bunch of grunt work?” Tanner said, not bothering to hide her frustration. “I saw your starting salary offer. Hell, for that amount of money, I’m surprised they didn’t also have you shining their shoes and washing their cars.”

  Syd shook her head. “You know me better than that. I might not have always pursued the kind of work you valued, but I have always worked five times harder than most people. I’m not scared of work, even menial work far beneath my qualifications. But I was scared of losing my license so rich attorneys could get even richer.” She took a drink of her wine.

  Tanner nodded. It was true. Sydney was one of the hardest working people she’d ever known, and even if Tanner didn’t always appreciate who she worked for, she had to admit that. “So, this firm liked to play fast and loose with the rules?”

  “That’s being generous. They liked to pitch to their clients that they were real sharks, unafraid to engage in whatever tactics were necessary to get the win, in or out of court. They kept a whole stable of private investigators on staff to do opposition research on opposing counsel and their clients, and they had reporters at all the local rags on speed-dial. But unfortunately, that was fairly status quo for this level of litigation.”

  “You’re saying it was more than that?”

  Syd met her eyes with a deep stare as if gauging how much she could trust her with the next bit of information. “Yes. They were helping some of their clients with less than savory connections cook their books by setting up shell corporations in places like Curaçao.”

  “Holy shit. I can’t believe they let you in on that your first year.”

  “Oh, they didn’t. They waited until I was completely invested in the partnership track, and even then, they didn’t tell me about it. I did some digging on my own when I noticed some things weren’t adding up. When they found out about it, they called me in and explained the importance of loyalty as a quality they were seeking in their prospective partners.”

  “What did you do?”

  “Besides thinking about Tom Cruise in The Firm?” Syd’s smile was humorless. “I told them I was well acquainted with the concept of loyalty, but not at the expense of my license and my freedom.”

  “I’m sure they rewarded you for your honesty.”

  “It’s funny how even lawyers forget the rules when they’re in the middle of breaking them. They did exactly what I would have cautioned them against if I’d been their lawyer. T
hey asked for my resignation, and when I refused, they fired me on the spot. I took my four-terabyte flash drive directly to the US attorney’s office and spent the next year helping them build a case against the firm.”

  Tanner blew a low whistle. “Wow, that’s rough. Is that how you wound up working for the DOJ?”

  “Yep. By the time the case was over, I was broke and pretty much unemployable in the private sector. The bounty I got as a whistle-blower was barely enough to cover my outstanding debts. I considered chunking it all and taking a job as a barista.”

  “As I recall, you would’ve been really good at that.” Tanner smiled.

  “Thanks. Anyway, the white-collar division chief offered me a job. He’s the same guy who recruited Peyton out there. I figured it was time for me to give back to the agency who helped me through it all. It wasn’t the direct route you took toward government service, but here I am.”

  Instinct drove Tanner to reach her hand across the table and cover Syd’s. “No one’s judging you. I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”

  “Thanks, Tanner. And that’s nice of you to say, but people do judge. I know based on all the doors that got slammed in my face when I tried to find new work. It was like I was the dishonest one. I was definitely the one who couldn’t be trusted to keep firm secrets.”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I guess.”

  Tanner fished around for the right words to ask the question she really wanted to know. “And all your other plans, the house, the family? Did any of that work out for you?”

  “Let’s see. The woman I was dating at the time was another attorney at the firm, not on the same partnership track as I was, but still way more concerned about being tainted with my misfortune than standing by me when the shit hit the fan.”

  “Ouch.” The pain in Syd’s voice pierced Tanner and she squeezed Syd’s hand, wishing she knew what to say to make it better.